Who I am and Why I’m here.

My name is Adrian Phillip. Most people call me Dri or Adri. My dad calls me Ace mostly because I’m his first child or something. You can call me any of the four names. I usually have a difficult time explaining to people “who I am”.
I’m simple… sometimes. Other times I feel like there is so much more to my life than worrying about crazy family drama or who’s going to be mad if I step across the blue line that is apparently drawn to keep me from living. Yes, I’m a sad case of human when I feel like it. I don’t cope with stress well internally. That has been most of my life… stress. At 21 should this be life? I’d like to think not for me, nope. There is so much more to me. I can feel it. Why am I stifling it  or allowing it be stifled?

I’ve always liked writing. It was a way that I used to express myself when I found that I could not do so verbally. I had a hard time expressing my feelings and problems to my parents and to other people mostly because I didn’t think that anyone really cared. I used writing to get the feelings that I was being consumed by out of my head. Some how, paper listened very well. Then, I found that I had a way with creating these little stories in my head and short stories and fictional writing became a little passion of mine. I loved it.

Anyways, I made the decision to blog publicly with the help of my boyfriend. He just wanted me to start it because I spend most of my days sleeping at this moment in my life.  I also wanted to get back in the habit of practicing my writing and also the habit of writing more often. Do I have material that people would be interested in reading? I have no idea. I was willing to take that risk though. I keep a journal, but because of a lot of the crap that I’m dealing with in this “quarter life crisis” of mine, I’ve lost the motivation to even put my feelings on paper. I’ve been asking myself what’s the point.

I originally decided that I would be posting pieces of old writing or WIP that I have lying around somewhere hoping that posting them would motivate me to continue them or start something new. I haven’t really been keeping up with that deal which is very disappointing because I was super hype about starting this blog. I’ve even thought that maybe I should do what Jenna Hamilton from the MTV series “Awkward” did and have an online blog/journal. I feel like I want/need to be heard. No one has been really listening to me for a long time so hey why not go to the internet? Yes, maybe I just will turn this into an online journal. My biggest fear is that maybe I won’t have readers. Of course I want people to read my stuff! Its kind of the point. My boyfriend thinks that this may even lead to me finally finishing a book that I’ve started or maybe even start a new one. He sees the best in me that one.

I’d like to connect with people like me…who are really like me. I’ve found one and right now he is the one right thing (apart from the health and well being of most of my family) that is happening in my life and that has happened in a really long time. I hope to make long life friends with similar interests because apparently I have outgrown the ones I thought would have lasted forever. Meeting new people always seemed like a waste of time to me because they never kept up the interest… or maybe I am just not that interesting. I want to meet people who will add perspective to my life because I lack thereof; Individuals with whom I can grow intellectually and be inspired by. I feels stagnant and wish for more than this…ugh. Bare with me.

I always thought that I should start planning things that I wish to get done with my life. I need to set goals…solid goals. I know what I want but a plan is what I do not have. With the help of these Blogging101 assignments maybe I’ll develop solid goals relating to my blogging hobby pretty soon. If I’m able to blog successfully throughout the next year then hopefully I would be at least half way done with my book and my writing career will be well on its way… I hope. I also hope that I’m able to gain a wonderful audience and that we can all learn from each other with regards to writing and many other things.


3 thoughts on “Who I am and Why I’m here.

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