It broke my heart to have even thought about staying inside yesterday. It was TOO damn hot! Getting out felt waaaaay better after having nearly sneezed myself to death yesterday morning due to the heat and dust from my insomniac activity (cleaning my corner). It was too damn hot to even sleep. It hurt… Ugh.
Anyways, love… hehehe. That four letter word stays doing the most to all of us…. and we stay letting it drive us insane, steal our very souls. Shiiid, talk about taking lives. Tsk. Tsk. How amazing it is, for some of us (because there are some smart people out here that don’t play that ish), that one person can make or break our day, mood, productivity, LIFE by exerting or withholding that oh so powerful emotion…
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG
Yesterday, I broke her heart… again. I didn’t mean to, as the times before, but it happened. I swear the way I was going about this would’ve prevented it, but apparently I never stopped. Loving someone doesn’t seem as hard (it really shouldn’t be) until you get to the part where you have to put in overtime to show that person that ‘Hey! I love you bitch! I ain’t gon’ ever stop loving you…bitch!’ (Please take no offense) Maybe not in the way that I wish I could but it’s there. It’s the overtime that’s got me messed up. Sometimes, I honestly just…. CAN’T! It’s not that I don’t care but forcing it is only going to make it worse on this end. Do I think about the damage that it is going to do on the other end? Of course I do. If it’s one thing that I’m not is a heartless, insensitive fuck that goes around probing at things that I don’t want to eat (Pun intended). To be honest, I have been trotting very slowly… veeeeery slowly down this path because I know what its like to have someone shit all over the time and part of yourself that you willingly offered up to them. It was for this very same reason why I trotting my ass like di tortoise. I don’t want to be responsible for holding that much power over a woman. Funny… I should know what to do with it right?
This woman is watching The Avengers without me. How disrespectful?
Yesterday, somewhere in the South Bronx, two women attempted to destroy each other over this guy. I know him, personally. Nice guy and everything. Bewilders me, as it always has, as to why they CHOSE to let a man… What I said about taking lives though? Tsk. Tsk. It’s that powerful though. Ooooo the things that this force makes us do. Doesn’t even give us a chance to think “Hey! Is this worth sitting my ass in an orange jump suit for yeeeears.” Please do remember that Orange Is The New Black is a show! It’s not real!
At this point I’m wondering if I should tell you about the other heart breaking shit that occurred yesterday because maaaaaaayn I’m telling you, this force was going in.
Love is a weakness of some sort. It has its perks, some pretty great ones actually, but this force though. Not to even mention how often we confuse it for lust. Oh how lust made me make some of the worst decisions ever! Or was it love?