Eros or…?


For as long as romance has been apart of the universe, never have I ever been swept off of my feet by some big romantic gesture. I’m 24 guys, like really? C’mon. Would I have cared for it? And why would I not?! The whole notion of what culture has turned it into seems adorable and it just… does something to the heart, you know? Why would I not want to be a part of this? And nooo, I myself have not once pulled off any romantic episodes for the occasion as far as I can remember but that isn’t the matter at hand.

The closest that I have gotten to a romantic date around this time of the year was when my cousin offered to watch my 3-month-old son so that his father and I could go watch Fifty Shades Darker. Actually, we should be going to watch Fifty Shades Freed this year because I am very much curious as to what this man ( the man who was Anna’s boss before her man became her boss) has planned.

My friend, on the other hand, has an entire weekend of dinner and hotel reservations planned for her husband. She’s made handwritten letters for every month that they have been married or for the months to come. I’m not quite sure but there are letters and a jar with red notes! I must say, I have no excuse for not ever going all out on this day except for laziness or I just didn’t care for them that much, or maybe the day. Whatever, but how cute is that?! Fact: I totally forgot about February 14th except for that my son has his 15 months check up and Christian and Anna return to the big screen. I’m not worried at all because my bf doesn’t really care for this specific celebration. Even though I know that he would appreciate something, I know that he wouldn’t feel unappreciated if he doesn’t receive chocolates and roses.

For all you romantics out there spreading real love and not just spending money hoping to get laid, I appreciate the yous of the world. Even if it isn’t romantic, love or just expression of appreciation can save so many lives and do so much good especially, if not only, when it comes from a true place.

As for the rest of yous… It’s 2018 if you’re just trying to roll in the sack, at least be upfront about it. Don’t lead people on, if you have to, then maybe they aren’t old enough to be doing the do. You know what I’m saying? It really isn’t even worth the arguments and potential homicide cases. Get with it.

And so, for all those who are going to celebrate, enjoy! For the rest of us, let’s continue to show the people whom we hold dear to us how much love that God, not Saint Valentine, put in us just for them.


Toodles for now! 🙂



We’ve Planted A Seed!


Hello lovelies! First off, Happy New Year! I hope the year as been treating you right in GOd’s Name. Secondly, let me  apologize for my AWOL status for the past few weeks. My mind was in a very frustrating place with everything that has been going on for this new year and my patience for receiving my W-2s to come in i’s running very low. You know that type of heartache right? Unbearable! Another thing that might be a little unbearable is this post because I have a feeling it’s about to be quite lengthy being that I want to get you guys caught up with what’ been going on.

I am still trying to discipline myself in many areas including my weekly post so bear with me. Obviously he hasn’t been going as planned but plans rarely do right? You would think that staying true to promises that you have made to yourself should come naturally but I struggle with that self-discipline. No wonder keeping close friends is beyond me at the moment. Know that, however, I’m in a little happy place at the moment and I’m very excited to be posting again. I know for sure that I will not go months unending without posting something so there is no worry there.

So as of January 15th, 2018, my bf, our son and I started our journey as a joined household i.e. our little family is finally under one roof. We moved to New Jersey, quite some distance away from family but we’ve been making it work. I just want to thank God as I have been doing for everything that he has given to me and those I hold dear. My late aunt always used to tell me that “He is slow but He is sure,” May she rest in peace, and right she was. After months of hoping and praying and brainstorming how we, I was going to get us out of the pit of sadness that I was in ( yes, you read right), we finally did it. I think after we are completely settled in then I’ll write a post on how we did this with zero dollar in our pocket and a toddler. We didn’t so it all on own. WE had the help of my bf’s parents. They actually are for us moving on and forward in our life and don’t mind sticking their hands out and into their pockets to do so. Thank God for them! Without them this wouldn’t have been possible.

I am nervous about the amount of responsibility that is now on us but I have faith that it will all work out. I have realised that being in my own space has unclouded my judgement and anxiety a tad bit and I’m so grateful for that and I’m sure that my bf can appreciate that I’m not barking his head off as much as I used to before.  I think it was the stress of the back and forth that we had to do in order to get family time in and there was a lot of tip toeing because we both weird hours and were living with Caribbean parents. Need I say more?

I think its fair to say that I have been caught up in the move to a new state. It might be to only New Jersey, but moving while broke really does take a toll no matter how far or close you might still be to family. I haven’t completed the transfer of my job yet so I’m still commuting to New York regularly for work. It’s very draining especially when I have to come home to a 14 month old toddler and hungry bf and sister, myself included. Yes my sister can cook but after playing tag with her nephew all day, I mean, come on. It’s been hectic on all of us and while I’m sure it’s not the same sentiments as my son’s, it just feels like routine that we haven’t quite settled into. We haven’t been able to really enjoy the new venture that we have started. Hopefully soon enough.

Our first set of bills are rolling up and I’m quite nervous about them. We haven’t gotten a budget down-packed yet. Quite honestly, I’m not sure how we are going to pull this off but bring it on!… I think.

On another note, my apartment looks a hot mess. We haven;t completely unpacked yet because storage is still an issue. We need dressers for the clothes that can’t go into the closets and then some baskets and shelves for the pantry and closet in the living room. I’ll let you know how that goes.

I start working at the new cafe next week. It’s a bittersweet feeling being that I’m extremely excited about starting fresh but I’m going to miss the heck out of my old cafe and team. I’ve been ready for a change of environment, etc. So I’m welcoming this with opened arms.

My son has warmed up to the new place pretty well, but then again he’s a bay so do these sort of things even phase them that much right now? Hmm. Anyways this was just a mini update on what’s been going on, not that any of you really care, I’m sure. I’m in a semi-contented place in my life right now… maybe more like quarterly and here’s to many more blessings and contented places in this storm of a life.  Some of the projects that I’ve been meaning to start have been put on pause but soon come!

I hop that the New Year has been good to you all so far and that it continues to grow with us and for us. Thank you for reading and be sure to check out my previous posts, especially Shaking That Feeling where I talk about the devil himself, procrastination. If I didn’t hint at all earlier, its been busting my ass!

Toodles till next time! 🙂




Hello loves! I’m hoping that all the prep work for the holidays are coming along just as you’ve planned and better even.All the christmas shopping and putting up of decorations and such, oh during the most wonderful time of the year! Even if your plans aren’t working out as expected, don’t worry. As long as you are with family and loved ones everything will turn out just fine because quite honestly that’s all that matters. Being surrounded by the ones that you love, who love you in return is the best gift that we could ever ask for as we wrap yet another year that, surprising again, has flown by so quickly. A year that was full of happiness and grief, mistakes and success, growth and perseverance because here we are! What better way to end the year than with the people who stood by your side through the ups and downs of this past year. This is my son’s second christmas and while we are not going all out with the decorations or visiting the tree downtown and seeing the pretty lighting on the houses, we do want him to feel the specialness of this time of the year.

Today’s blog isn’t going to be about much. I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays. Continue to stay positive and loving and spread those two virtues as much as you can even if you don’t get them back in return. It is only week three of the revival of my blog and I’m thankful for all who have been reading and I hope that you continue to read. I’m also happy that I’m still at it and I hope I stay motivated to keep at it. Let me know what you think I should write about for future posts and/or comment whatever you’d like. Share with me in the comment box down below what the holidays this time of year mean to you.

I hope that you have accomplished all that you had set out to this year and more! If not, then just tackle it next year with 10 times the force!



On that note, Happy Holidays everyone and an even happier and prosperous New Year!

Don’ forget to check out my last post! Shaking That Feeling

Toodles! 🙂

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Shaking That Feeling

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I think it goes without saying that procrastination is the spawn or evil or better yet the very thing itself, eating away at your ambition, restricting the potential greatness in us all by planting tiny seeds of self-doubt, negativity, laziness, you name it! I’ve been thinking lately that, this thing usually hits us right when we are about to kick ass at a project that we’ve been anticipating to get started or an assignment/test that you that little demon know that you are going to ace, with a little studying of course.

If you’ve read my recent post, A Day In The Life… Leave Your Expectations At The Door, it’s obvious that I’m still adjusting to being the mom of a one-year-old toddler while working part-time and I’m a full-time English major as well. If it may seem like I’m complaining while other women are juggling much more, you can just hop off because FYI I’m killing it in this game too. (If you’re not a parent, no offense but, don’t judge me.) What’s even more obvious though, is procrastination at it’s best I guess, preventing me from being an, even more, kick-ass parent/individual than I already am. I’m really trying to stay in a positive headspace.

A friend brought it to my attention that a lot of discipline is going to play a big part in kicking this guy to the curb. It’s not like I didn’t know this but you know. Remember when you were a kid/teen and used to suck your teeth on all the times your parents would send you to bed early even though it wasn’t a school night. And remember when they would wake you up before the crack of dawn even on the weekends. ? What about when they used to tell you to pick up a book or send you to some educational camp during the summer and to iron your uniform and sometimes even theirs for school or work every night or all at once on the weekends? I’m sure I can go on and on but you get the jest of it. That was the discipline that they were trying to embed into us. I’m not saying that I’m only realizing this now, but I really am just realizing this only now. My mind was against this for such a long time that I’ve given into bad habits. Instead of allowing those tasks to mold me into a more productive and more ambitious adult, I have given easy access to be possessed by this monster. We’re still talking about procrastination here. Stay with me.
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Anyways, last week I started up my blog again, the first time since 2015 and if you haven’t, you should go read those as well. A lot of that is due to my ability of not being able to commit to certain things once I’ve started but come to think of it maybe, just maybe it was our deadly friend that we’re talking about right now. Any which way, that talk is one of an entirely different post or maybe I’ve posted about it before. I’m not sure. So, after posting last week I felt really good about myself and felt a sense of fulfillment. I’ve been wanting to post for a while now, ever since I started my creative writing course this past semester. Also, we are in the final weeks of the semester so there’s been a bunch of final essays and exams to prepare for. I decided that if I wanted to ace these then I most definitely had to sacrifice something. I took off these two weeks of work (I only work on the weekends because of baby and school) so that I could go out to Starbucks or the library for the entire day leaving the baby home with his dad. I eventually decided that I need to shake this thing if I’m going to make the kind of progression that I need.

The first weekend has passed and I must say felt great being able to have some time to myself to dedicate to school work and it sure was productive. It made a difference. When the week started and I realised how much I still have to get done, thoughts of pushing back the deadline I set to have this post up and while I was in my Literature class I realised that nahhhhhhh, I’m already on a roll and there was no way that anything was going to rain on my parade. The next weekend is coming up and I’m hoping it will be even more successful than the previous one.
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Being realistic in the midst of all the self-doubt and anxiety, that little period of productivity, mindflow could not have been possible if I was in the same room as my son. At least, not yet and I’m working on that. He requires a lot of attention as do all toddlers, and my instinct is to give it to him each and every time. I can’t ignore him or leave him to play on his own because he isn’t at that stage yet where he doesn’t want to be up under me 24/7. I am so grateful for his father understanding my request for some “time off.” I really needed it. As much as we are believed to be superhumans WE ARE NOT! A lot of people are really good at multi-tasking life especially with a tiny human being depending on you for everything, but there are also those who just can’t and that’s okay. And at some we all need help. If the 10 million things that you are trying to juggle are becoming overwhelming, ask for help. Pride can also hold us back from our full potential but, it’s okay to show a little vulnerability sometimes because we are only human. There are a lot of people who I still won’t ever ask for shit but you get where I’m coming from right? Great.

Anyways, guys, there’s a pep in my step and I hope and pray that I keep it up because I really like the feelings that are associated accomplishing a task. Knowing that I can be a mommy and still do my own thing without feeling like I’m going to fall to pieces or like I’m failing, is very reassuring. It’s going to take a lot of discipline and help but steps are being taken to rectify all the wasted time I guess. No more letting this little demon deter me from the things that I have set out to accomplish. And remember, if you multitasking isn’t your thing or you’ve tried and it doesn’t work out for you then, take your time and do that shit one by one. Just make sure that you get it done because the feeling alone after you’ve completed it is so rewarding. You’ve gotten enough of my life procrastination and now, I’m taking it back.

Toodles for now! 🙂

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A Day In The Life… Leave Your Expectations At The Door

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I started writing what should’ve been a blog post about a month ago. Maybe it is a little more than that but back to the point. It was supposed to be about time management and the steps to go about achieving a more successful and productive, less bummy day. The idea seemed cool and exciting at the time but it felt like a waste to write because I wasn’t staying true to the words. Why in hell would I post something that I find sooooo hard to practice? Of course, I wish I could stick to those step, maybe even start with one at least but that isn’t the case right now. Continue reading

And I am back… 😇

This summer…. Woooo boy this summer. It was something else. It really was. A lot of unexpected experiences occurred, some of which I am grateful for and others which were just… But these things we do not control right?

Losing my grandmother and having to deal with a bunch of family matters really opened my eyes to a different side of my family. A side which I am not very proud… A side that I’m not proud of at all. They defy the definition of “family” or at least what I always thought the definition to be. It bewilders me that at the end of the day they say that what they said, done and are doing are for the sake of “family”. Baffoonary!!!

Anyways, I met Eddy!!! 🙂 and Cookie 😉

This summer all in all wasn’t really as bad as last year. It was less stressful and I had way more fun than I had anticipated. I even recorded a song! *yay me*

Something else that my eyes were opened to is that I’m still as confused about myself as I’ve ever been. Well maybe a little better than I originally was but confused and unsatisfied none the less. I hate that. It can’t be like this next year. At least by the end of this year, I hope to see change. I plan to work towards it.

I basically missed my entire blogging 101 course because I hardly had internet access and when I did… Lawwwd the speed na min all that. Sigh. I hope to catch it next time around.

I’m not sure what else to write about right now. I’m just tired of laying like this because I’m posting this from my phone. Next time I’ll tell you guys about my actual fetting and drama from being back hone this summer. :D😂:?😎😧😋😍😜😩:roll:😁 <—— listen to the emojis.

Till next time! Toodles!! 🙂